world cup | Salsa Speaks

Real talk for a second-

I’m an admittedly massive sports fan. I’d also consider myself to be one hell of an American, but I just can’t get into this Women’s US soccer team for the life of me. I just couldn’t care less.

Apparently the US Women’s team was in some game last night and my twitter was blowing up. I’m on a couple different text chains from my college buddies and they were all talking about the game. I even had chick friends sending me snaps of them watching the game. While all this was going on, I was happily sitting on the couch catching up on True Detective, without the slightest care in the universe that I was ‘missing out’.

First of all, it’s soccer. Soccer is extremely difficult for me to watch when it isn’t the World Cup (Men and Women’s). Second of all, it’s women’s soccer which makes it even more of a painfully slow sport to watch. The last game woman’s soccer game that I remember actually caring about was the World Cup game where the one girl took her shirt off after kicking the game winner. That was in 1999- I think- 16 years ago.

As much as I would like to get behind this team, I just can’t seem to make myself care enough to look up whatever channel broadcasts these games. Is it ESPN? NBC? I don’t know.

I’ll watch any sporting event on the planet, but I’d choose a meaningless June Braves Baseball Game vs. the Nationals over the US National Soccer team. Keep in mind that I watched about 30+ hours of golf this weekend, and I feel like spending 90 minutes on Soccer is a colossal waste of time. Am I crazy or do I have a point?

My questions are this. Am I all alone here? Are there people that agree with me? I honestly have no idea, because it seems like I’m the only guy who isn’t into this US whole woman’s soccer thing. Dead serious- is this even the world cup right now? Is it a qualifier? I just don’t get it, and I don’t care enough to even do the research about it. What’s wrong with me?

Oh well. That’s my scorching hot take.

I leave you with the mental images my brain cycles through when someone brings up woman’s soccer in conversation:

Sports bra girl: