Teaching myself the bloglife: Step two- Connecting the Twitter handle

well i’ve posted a few quality blogs now (4 total) and I have 0 outside views? how do we get dem views up? I’ve built myself a nice little army of around 300 followers in the past 5 months, so now is the time that I gotta connect the twitter handle @salsastoolie -but how do we do it? fuck if I know. Live blog of me learning starts right now. I give it 20 minutes to figure out, and i’ll take the under (we’ll see what happens)

Live Blog:
-trying to teach myself. just mashing buttons on the wordpress dashboard
-just added a bunch of sharing buttons (basically every social media platform) not sure if they’ll show up
(no idea what i’m doing)
– i think i did it?
( i did NOT do it- went to the site- no Twitter timeline on the side- not fucking happy about it)
-alright i got to google it now- thought i could do it on my own but NOPE!
– Maybe i need an RSS Feed??
– apparently i need to create a twitter widget? (damn- this is much more complex than i anticipated)
(and 20 minutes is up NOOOOOOOO- those who took the over- congrats on betting on my stupidity)
– This won’t take me 40 minutes will it? (place your bets now- this time i’ll take the over, but i feel i’m close….)
-AND we done!! TIME (31 minutes 2 seconds)

Yessir!! i now have a live feed on the left side of my blog but how do i get it on the right side? I’m gonna go back at it for bonus coverage here we go. lets go for under 5 minutes…
-GOTTT EMM- i got to get used to this drag and drop shit. by trying to make things easier wordpress just made it more difficult to figure out how to delete things. oh well live and learn.
Time (4 minutes 5 seconds)

live look at my reaction right now…

I just had the greatest idea ever: Netflix dating Service

Someone was recenltly bitching to me about being single and only wanting to find someone who liked watching netflix. The problem is, finding that person. BOOM! Million dollar idea hits me. Netflix needs to start a dating service. That idea is a license to print money. For all you simpletons that don’t read this text, here’s a picture representation of a million dollar (future) valuation:

+

=

Pretty simple actually. think about it. Build a quick profile, put in your location and watch Netflix per usual. Eventually, you’ll see things like “So and So is also watching such and such and is 10 miles from you”. From there, open up a dialog/chat room/ or private conversation for different shows and interested parties and VOILA! people meeting people and people making babies. it’s a beautiful thing.

How could this fail? seriously i’m asking? punch a hole in this theory i’m all ears…

Apparently 6 months has gone by since my last blog…ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

So i just published a blog and realized that my other two posts were made 1/2 a year ago (almost to the day). Wait what?

i’m trying to think about what i’ve done the past 6 months and i honestly can’t think of much. I got shitcanned from my bullshit job back in early May, and i set up a blog bc i was bored and had nothing to do. Then i guess life happened and i forgot about it, until tonight. it’s been like a black hole of time but i’m going to try to piece the time together to figure it out.

May- literally don’t remember shit about that month- NBA finals maybe? who won Spurs?!? yeah that month was a blur of nothing
June- World cup soccer right? i remember watching the USA Games- that shit was awesome. Sidebar:

USA Ganna- watched at a local bar ate wings-
USA Germany- Watched at an airport on way to bachelor party- got incredibly hammered at a Chili’s, and i remember going beer coffee beer coffee beer coffee, and i started drinking at 9 am when it opened
USA Belgium- got ridiculously hammered for this one had about 8 24 oz beers (hardo right?) and then a couple fireball shots that blacked me out and i hooked up with one of the hottest chicks of my life that night…I BELIEVE!– we played some other games, but i don’t remember watching them.
World cup was fun in June

July- came what did i do for the fourth? i can’t really remember. Actually now i do remember- went to my buddies place and ended up meeting up with a tinder girl from Canada and we hooked up. so bizzare because she was like 15 years older, but she was fun. the rest of the month i guess i was planning my roadtrip

August- took a 3 week roadtrip around the US. it was really fun, but really expensive. I’ll tell some of the stories someday. I guess football season started and since then time has been FLYING. I’m a big time SEC fan, and i do love NFL sunday like any other warm blooded american.

September came and went, i had a birthday and attended wedding. this was the most uneventful birthday of my entire life. i never make a big deal out of those, but i almost didn’t even remember my own birthday.

October came and went- broke up with this chick i’d been dating since the summer off and on- went to another wedding. went to a couple football games back home.

Now we’re mid november- the weather is cold rainy and shitty, but the holidays are right around the corner. I love the holiday season. can’t wait for that…but it seriously blows my mind that this much time has past between my past few posts.

i’m an idiot, but How the fuck do i delete a wordpress blog?

Apparently I’m an idiot? who knows? i swear i’ve gotten astronomically dumber since graduating college a few years back. I’ve set up a blog, but have 2 main sites. I only want one, but can’t for the life of me figure out how to delete one simple site entirely. It’s frustrating as fuck!

The problem: Two Sites
https://salsaspeaks.wordpress.com/
http://bittersalsa.wordpress.com

The Goal: One Site
https://salsaspeaks.wordpress.com/

Why is this so ridiculously hard? why isn’t there a ‘delete’ button on the bittersalsa blog? i fundamentally don’t understand why wordpress needs to make this such an issue. it’s almost as if they don’t want you to delete anything in the history of blogging.

I’m gonna do some quick googling to figure this thing out, and i’ll live blog along the way so you can be shotgun for my whirlwind of unavoidable emotions. here we go.

(5 minutes later)
“Thank you for using WordPress.com, your site has been deleted. Happy trails to you until we meet again.”

BOOM MOTHERFUCKA! SCIONARRA! (sp?)

so wordpress asks you like 5 times making sure you want to actually delete the site, and then once you think you’re done, they mix in a line in the fine print that says that they’ll send you an email for you to take the site down you have to click on the link. When i tried deleting it in the past i must have missed that part. sneaky bastards. oh well the point is, that we now have one site and we’re ready to roll. don’t know what this will become, but i enjoy blogging. so enjoy the ride…

real time- look at my reaction after deleting the site

hands down, one of my favorite GIF’s of all time. the joy that guy has in that moment is 100 times greater than anything will ever make me.

Stoolies raise $20,000 in 5 hours

Let’s get one thing straight. Stoolies can be huge assholes. With that said, they can also be extremely generous. Yesterday’s blog is a perfect example. Do yourself a favor and click on this link and read the amazing story.

http://www.barstoolsports.com/boston/super-page/alert-we-need-stoolie-help-asap-for-a-wounded-warrior-and-former-captain-of-wellesley-football-and-lax-teams-trying-to-save-his-dog-gabriel/

El Pres called for the stoolie nation to act, and act they did- like they always do when it counts. Absolutely, Makes me proud to be a stoolie. Viva La Stool indeed.

Who or What the hell is Salsa?

1st Blog Ever.

If you’re new to my little slice on the internet, welcome. Thanks for stopping by. I came up with the name Salsa when I was sitting around bullshitting with some buddies, and wanted to leave a comment on a website called Barstoolsports.com. i was eating a bag of chips and salsa at the time so i just smashed in “salsastoolie” as a user name and the name has stuck ever since.

A stoolie is defined by urban dictionary as follows:

“A Stoolie is a person who reads or follows barstoolsports.com. The Stoolie demographic tends to consist of college aged or post-college aged males who read the site on weekdays instead of studying, going to class or working. Stoolies are active participants of the site and contribute to the site’s success. Stoolie comments on blogs often highlight the website, and Stoolies email “smokes”, blog ideas, and other content that bloggers share. Though Stoolies are loyal to the website, they are quick to point out grammar and spelling errors. Always brutally honest, Stoolies rate the quality of individual blogs, “wake-ups”, celebrity asses, and the overall quality of bloggers themselves. In addition, Stoolies have been known to cause controversy on the site. 

Although Stoolies often post negative comments, they are also very charitable. After the Boston Marathon Bombings Stoolies raised hundreds of thousands of dollars in t-shirt sales going to funds to help the victims. “

I’ll admit that the site has a lot of flaws and assholes, but it also has a lot of good people as well. The bloggers and contributors are surprisingly well educated, and well spoken when they need to be, but most of all they’re funny, opinionated, and entertaining. I’ve always tried to be these things in living my everyday normal post college life, and i can really relate to these guys.

The site’s been around since 2008 or so, but seemed to really take off (for me) around 2010 when i became  a loyal stoolie. To this day, i have not had a day go by where i didn’t check it at least once to see what was going on. They’ve grown tremendously in such a short time and are trying to expand further across the country. They do very well in the Northeast market and will continue to explode with the help of the Loyal Stoolies like myself.

To me, Dave Portnoy, The president of Barstool sports (or “El Pres” as he calls himsel) is the definition of the American Dream. He  hated working for the man, tried to start his own gambling site (failed miserably), picked his bootstraps up and started Barstool Sports as a newspaper handout around 2004. Ten years later, he has one of the most popular sites on the internet, he’s selling out concert venues all over the US, raising thousands of dollars for charities, and has a net worth of a reported 3 million dollars.

He takes a beating all day in the media and from his loyal stoolie fans, but he takes it all in stride and does it with a giant middle finger which you can’t help but respect.