One Liners

“that’s a little thing i leared that at the University of Life”

Your greatest advantage to me, is that I don’t give a fuck about you.

You gotta sit with the peasants to rule like a king.

If you shook my family tree a whiskey bottle would probably fall out.

“Quoting yourself is such a power move” -Salsa

“Stay low, go fast. Kill first, die last. One shot, one kill. No luck, all skill.”

Crushing wine like a fat kid at a buffet

“Putting the full court press on 1/2 priced apps”

“My job starts when they say no” -some chick

“Nobody does me better than yourself. Love, I.”

“If you majored in history you minors in unemployment” #GOTEM

“ladies… If you give a fat guy a blowjob and pizza rolls you own him for life!” “And not necessarily in that order”

tacos are the hot dogs of Mexico

I’m so average that they call me

I’ve bitten off more than I can chew? I’d rather choke on greatness than nibble on mediocrity.

Don’t let yo dreams be memes

Told a chick that I was “the poster child of mediocrity” and she loved it.

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