Category Archives: Random Thoughts

What are you picking as your “last meal”?

I haven’t really ever given this a lot of thought, but I feel like I need to address it. The question is:

If you were facing the electric chair tomorrow and I’m giving you one final meal of your choice, (anything in the world) what are you picking?

My answer would probably be steak and lobster, a loaded mashed potato with sides of melted butter and gravy for dipping, and garlic bread. For dessert, I’m going with warm apple pie with vanilla ice cream on top accompanied by a small side dish of mixed nuts.   But from where?

The best Lobster I’ve ever had was made by my buddy from New England on the 4th of July about 3 years back.

The best steak I’ve ever had was on a random Sunday night made by myself about 6 months ago.

The best loaded baked potato I’ve had was on vacation at some po-dunk BBQ place in south Texas a few years back.

steak lobster.jpg

The best garlic bread I’ve had is from the Kroger freezer, and I had some last week.

garlic bread.jpg

The best apple pie I’ve ever had was at this little soul food diner in college.

I have no clue what I’d drink as a beverage. I don’t think I’ve ever had a favorite alcoholic drink of all time (or sipped something and thought “that’s the best drink I’ve ever had”). I’d probably have a glass of water, a glass of Hi-C Fruit Punch, a can of coke, and a single bottle of Bud Light (the OG of beer). I’d also try to squeeze in a single shot of crown if they let me.

I’m basically saying that I hate my answer to this question, because I don’t really even have an answer.

apple pie.jpgThey’d ask “what do you want?”

I’d say “steak and lobster and a loaded potato with garlic bread and apple pie ala mode”

“okay, from where”

“………………” (silence)mixed nuts.jpg

So what are you picking?

Hit me up on twitter with your #LastMealChoice


  • NY Strip Steak
  • Lobster Tail
  • Loaded Baked Potato
  • Side of Garlic Bread
  • Apple Pie with Vanilla Ice Cream
  • Bowl of Mixed Nuts
  • Water
  • Hawaiian Punch
  • 1 Can of Coke
  • 1 Bottle of Bud Light
  • 1 Shot of Crown Royal



Dumb things that make me laugh: The Arthur Meme

I have no clue why I laugh at this new Arthur meme that seems to be popping up all over twitter, but It’s the second best meme going other than the “Crying Jordan Face”.

I spent a good amount of time scrolling through twitter to find some good ones for your enjoyment.

The Fist:


Which leads me to one of the stupidestly funny videos I’ve seen in some time. It was mainly because I saw this weeks ago, and it was so unexpected.


The Buffalo Wing Blog

“Bone-in” or “Bone-out”?

Bone in. I love Buffalo Wings. I didn’t know how controversial the “Bone-In” vs. “Bone-Out” debate was.Personally I’m a Bone in guy. A wing with no bone is a chicken nugget with sauce.


Time to settle a few more debates.

Drums or Flats?

I used to be all about the Drums, but lately I’ve migrated to the flats because it seems like they consistently have more meat. I like the drums for their ease of dunk-ability into the dressing, but those flats are where it’s at. I like to use my cellery or frries to paint my flats with dressing before biting in. It’s a little messy, but 100% amazing.

Celery or Carrots?

I go Celery here. cool Crisp crunch goes so well with the hot crisp wing. Carrots tend to be served at room temp and sometimes lack that crunch that you know you’ll get with celery.

Fries or Veggies?

This is tough, and depends on the location, but I’ll usually opt for the fries over the option for celery/carrots any day of the week. I’d say i’m a fry guy about 90% of the time.

Blue Cheese or Ranch?

Ranch all day every day. Never been a blue cheese guy.Bonus points if the ranch is homemade, and they give you extra.

Hot, Med, Mild?

Same sauce flavor, just a difference in heat. I always go medium on my first visit to the place to gauge their heat levels, and then I adjust accordingly. I tend to like my wings somewhere between medium and hot, but there’s a fine line between that and too hot. If it lands somewhere in that sweet spot, then i’m your customer for life.

wing spice zone

“Wet”  wings or slightly drier? (basically lots of sauce or minimul sauce)

This is where most wing places fuck up. They’ll have a great tasting wing, but then they’ll drown it in sauce to the point where it becomes soggy. I hate when I order wings and I get home and they’re sitting in an inch of sauce. The best wings in my opinion have some sauce, but tend to becloser on the dry side of things. I’m all about my wings being as crispy as possible, so to get there we have to minimize the sauce. The perfect amount of sauce is on this wing below.

perfect amount of sauce

Bufflo sauce or dry/teriyaki/BBQ/Lemon Pepper?

Every wing place has a million different flavors these days. I stick mainly to buffalo wings medium/hot. I don’t mind mixing in dry rub/ garlic/ lemon pepper from time to time, but that just doesn’t do it for me.

buffalo types



Famous Product Placement in Movies

I’m sitting on my couch crushing a bag of Reese’s Pieces and I was just remembering how they were introduced in the movie E.T. like 30 years ago. It got me thinking about other products that make me think of the movies they were shamelessly plugged in. Here’s a list of a few that I thought about off the top of my head:

E.T.- Reese’s Pieces

reeses pieces

Mini Cooper- The Italian Job

mini cooper

Ray-Ban’s-Risky Businness/ Top Gun

tom ray ban

Nike-Back to the Future


Wilson- Cast Away


Domino’s Pizza- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles


What products remind you of a certain movie? let me know on Twitter @salsastoolie



Are these “Gummy Cube” Energy Chewables The Next Big Thing?

Go Cube.jpg

Edible Coffee Cubes.

I love coffee. I didn’t become a coffee guy until I entered the working world after college, but that morning cup of joe is one of the best parts of my day. I’m usually a 1-2 cup a day guy.

Recently I heard about these chewable coffee cubes called “Go Cubes” that are supposed to replace drinking a cup of coffee.

I can see how everyone might not have time to make coffee, and that transporting it to and from work is a little cumbersome, but is it really that big of an inconvenience?

Early reviews are that these coffee cubes taste horrible. That’s the problem with all these “revolutionary energy source” ideas. They all taste like crap. I’m not saying coffee tastes that great, but I do like the taste (with or without extra stuff added in), and it works just fine for me. I also find it more effective than a 5 hour energy. wired waffle.jpg

I remember one time on Shark Tank, some dude pitched a caffeinated waffle in a package with the same concept. As soon as the sharks tasted it, they spit it out and all of them just hated the taste. That’s exactly how I’d imagine these gummy cubes going over with the general public. Sure it’s a decent idea, but not something people would actually consider.

Also do you remember the 5 hour Energy Hype from like 2011-2013? Those commercials used to be everywhere. 5 hour this, 5 hour that- next big thing. That was like a two year period of advertising overload which we most recently experienced with the  2015 September DraftKings ads…btw fuck DraftKings .Whatever happened to 5 hour energy?** Do people still use them? I used to drink one before I’d go out for a night on the town, but that’s about it. Other than that- I’d only grab one at a gas station if I had a lot of driving ahead of me. They’ve pretty much stopped advertising. I think it was a classic example of pricing yourself out of the market. They used to charge about $3.50 a bottle, and now they’ve slowly come down to around $2.00 a bottle, where they should’ve been all along. Hindsight is always 20/20, but they should’ve seen that coming.

Oh and the price of this chewable coffee isn’t even that great either. It works out to about $2.95 per coffee for the cubes. Sure, that’s less than a $4.00 Latte at Starbucks, but I’m rolling with a giant can of Folgers that costs about 8 bucks and lasts me 2 weeks. That’s just how I roll. Simple dude with simple tastes. Like I’ve said 1,000 times before- I’m remarkably average. It’s still on my current Twitter Bio:

twitter bio

PS- I still think Jolt Gum was a better concept than any of these alternative coffee sources. Whatever happened to this stuff?

jolt gum.png

**PPS- In case you were actually wondering what happened to 5-Hour Energy, it appears that it has been cited as a primary cause in 13 deaths a few years back, and they’ve also been involved in a prolonged 8 year legal battle involving Trademark Infringement, which they just won in Feb. 2016. (source)

Sean Parker, the Napster guy, has a new company that wants to charge you $50 to rent a movie

That headline is not a joke.

Sean Parker, aka the Napster guy aka Zuckerburg’s boy, is trying to start up a new company with his dumbest idea yet.

He wants to charge people $50 to rent a movie that’s currently in theaters.

What planet are you on bro?

You think people are going to shell out 50 bones when they can go to the theater for 7-8 bucks?

GTFO ari

I’m a strong believer that once you get rich, you lose your perception of reality. There is no shot in hell that the average American is going to see any value in this bullshit company/product. People like Sean Parker are so far off the reservation, that it’s genuinely insulting. This guy is worth 3 Billion dollars?!? My goodness. As a guy who’s worth about 3 dollars, even a stupid blogger, like myself, can see how much this idea sucks. The worst part, is that he’ll blow a couple million dollars, shrug his shoulders and walk away like it was nothing more than a minor inconvenience.

I wish that Parker would have to match every dollar he sinks into this project with a donation to charity or something. That should be a rule for the mega-rich (billionaires and higher). Every awful idea, should be subject to the “bad idea tax”, which would require them to donate a match of yearly losses to charity until the company becomes profitable.

Bad idea tax. Making the world a better place, one shitty idea at a time.

Need it.




This “Personal Chef” App is an Awesome Concept


The app is called Kitchen Surfing

It’s an app where a chef will come to you, cook, clean, and leave all in 30 minutes. He brings all his cooking appliances, and ingredients too.

rock clapping.gif

Just a fantastic idea. I love it. I have some doubts about the actual logistics, pricing, menu options, and scalability of ‘Kitchen Surfing’ but it’s still an awesome concept.

Quick Questions that popped in my head:

  • Where do you find the chefs?
  • What do you charge? One price?
  • What do you cook? Customizable?
  • What if the food sucks?
  • What if you get robbed?
  • What if they break something?

The one thing I have issue with is that they say it’s “under $30.00” a person. So what, does that mean it’s $29.99 per person!??! That may be a good value for a place like NYC or San Francisco, but in my neck of the woods, you can get a pretty nice steak dinner at a restaurant for 60 bucks + tip. That brings up another question: do you tip this personal chef?? I would assume that you do, but is it like Uber where tip is included and you have the option to pay additional at the end? What if the chef burns your food? Are you eligible for a discount if it tastes awful/under-cooked?kitchensurfing.png

It just seems like so many things could go wrong, not to mention the fact that you’re letting a complete stranger into your home for a good amount of time. It doesn’t bother me, because I own nothing of value, but if I were an investment banker with a penthouse apartment in Manhattan, I’d be a little uneasy about opening my doors to some teenage chef from the local culinary institute down the street.

It will be very interesting to see where this app goes in the next few months/years. I see it going 1 of 2 ways:

  1. The app becomes a massive hit and becomes an industry leader and pioneer in the”on-demand at home food service”space . (I’d say about 5% shot)
  2. The app struggles to grow and acquire the necessary investment needed to become relevant, and it eventually dies before getting any traction. (I’d say about 95% chance)

Again, the idea is fantastic. There is a market for this. Hopefully they can make it more affordable because the $30/price point is going to be tough to get widespread adoption outside of big cities. We’ll keep an eye on this app to see how it progresses, but I wanted you to know about it early just in case it becomes the next huge thing.


If you’ve used this app (or know someone who has) hit me up on Twitter @Salsastoolie and let me know how it went.

I have never tasted Sprite

Shitty blog alert!  This is by far one of the strangest things about me.

I rarely tell people this, because it never comes up in everyday conversation, but I always get a baffled reaction from people when I mention that I’ve never tasted a Sprite in my entire life. No gas.

It’s just one of thosprite2.jpgse things that has never appealed to me. I’m usually going to drink one of 4 things. If I’m going with a soda, It’s always a Regular Coke or Dr. Pepper. If I’m going for something more refreshing, it’s Water or Gatorade. That’s it and that’s all.

Those are literally the only four drinks I ever drink. Sprite has never appealed to me. It’s simply a clear version of a soda, and it’s just not my cup of tea. The weirdest part is that I actually like lemon and lime flavors, and I use them when I’m cooking all the time.

It’s kind of surprising that Sprite is like the #2 option on any coke machine or Soda Fountain in the world, yet I don’t usually see people walking around with their 20 oz sprite bottles. Seriously look around today when you’re walking on the street, ordering lunch, riding the train, or sitting on the bus. Who’s drinking all this sprite? I rarely see anyone ordering it when I’m out. Back in college, a bunch of my buddies would order Vodka-Sprites but I’d just opt for the jack and coke instead.

I’ll probably never drink a sprite in my life and that’s completely fine with me.

Disobey your thirst.



I Need a Map because I Got Lost In DJ Tanner’s Eyes This Weekend

DJ Tanner is a stunner.

I found myself roped into this awful rom-com this past weekend called “Finding Normal”. Little did I know that the star of the movie was an adult DJ Tanner. I haven’t seen or heard from her since the 90’s, but I’m curious…

How is she not more famous?? 

She was an absolute fox. She stole every scene she was in, and her eyes are absolutely hypnotic. Baby blues for days.

Movie: 2/10

DJ Tanner: 10/10







Have. Mer. See.

I’d marry DJ Tanner on the spot, but she married a Russian hockey bro when she was only 20 after meeting him at a charity hockey game. Good for that dude, because DJ Tanner is like a fine wine, and she just keeps getting better with age. He out-kicked his coverage and snagged himself a total MILF. Can you believe she’s had 3 kids and is 40 years old?? Unreal.


This is real.

Probably the hardest I’ve laughed in a month. Enjoy a Monday morning pick me up.

I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m back into wrestling after 15 year break. I went to a party to watch Wrestlemania about two years ago, and I’ve been roped back in ever since. I only watch about 2 events pera year (Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania), so I’m nowhere close to being an ‘actual fan’. That doesn’t stop me from enjoying the show. I just love the fact that you literally never know what’s going to happen. Last night was the debut of the next face of wrestling- AJ Styles. I gotta admit that I love his walk out song.