A Burrito vending machine? Well that’s a stupid idea.
That said, it’s no secret that I love vending machines. I can’t explain it. Ever since I was a kid I’ve always liked them. Always have, always will.
It’s also no secret that I like Burritos. I still think Chipolte is overrated, but that doesn’t stop me from crushing one of their burritos once every two weeks or so.
When I heard of the burrito dispensing vending machine my ears perked right up. Don’t know how it works, and I really don’t care. These machines are perfect for offices, bars, gas stations, schools, and even movie theaters. A burrito for 5 dollars that tastes good?! Talk about a hole in one!
Seriously, this is a great thing to put in little dive bars that don’t offer food, or close the kitchen at 10:00 pm. I can’t count the number of times I’ve wanted something to eat while waiting on an Uber to pick me up. Sure, you can tell your ride to stop at a fast food place on the way home, but that’s annoying and takes too much time. Give me a 90 second burrito, some warm chips, and guac after a few frosted pops, and I’m happier than a bird with a french fry.
The magical burrito machine is called Burritobox and it’s been tweaked to perfection over the past few months in gas stations around the LA area. The machine looks like one of those giant redbox movie machines and can give you a hot burrito in 90 seconds. It also gives you warm chips and cool guacamole, sour cream, hot sauce and salsa. Apparently they re-stock the machines every day or two, which sounds difficult to sustain, but who am I to judge. I would never ever invest in this company, or this idea because the logistics are a nightmare when you consider everything that can and will go wrong with these machines.
At the end of the day, I love the idea. I’m an idea guy through and through, and I give them credit for actually having the balls to bring this to market. The only problem is that people are absolutely technologically retarded and the people who eat at gas stations aren’t going to have the first clue on how to use these machines. Take, for example, my experience with those new age electronic coke machines I had just a few months back.
I’d love to try this thing out and do a food review for you, but that can’t happen because Burritobox isn’t going to tell anyone where the machines are going. Apparently they’ll be dropped in 15 cities pretty soon, but they’re not saying when or where. Get off your high horse Burritobox, y’all aren’t In-N-Out Burger, you freaking need some sort of marketing plan. You need bloggers like me to be able to find your stuff, so we can write blogs like this to promote your shit. Figure it the fuck out.
Upon further research, I’ve found out that the singer Kevin Rudolf is one of the co-founders of Burritobox, and suddenly it all makes sense. He’s not exactly the guy I want on my board of directors calling all the shots. No worries Kev, “Welcome to the World” was/is/will always be a banger tho.