Category Archives: Bloglife

Just like that… Summer is Over (a recap)

I’ve been pretty busy with work this summer, so I’ve had very limited free time to blog. I’m going to re-visit some of the things I talked about in my last “summer preview blog” (seen here).

I said that I’d make this “the summer of the rock”. Well, I failed this one. I’d planned on only drinking Rolling Rock beers all summer, but I ended up drinking the 12 pack I bought that day I wrote the blog and not a single one since. Nothing wrong with the beer, I just didn’t buy it again. Mostly Bud Lite’s all summer for me.


I didn’t eat nearly as much grilled steak as I anticipated, but i did master the art of grilling the the perfect burger, and smash burger. The smash patties is the best looking you’ll ever make, but it tastes exactly the same as my regular burger which is way easier to make. Stick with the normal burger with some secret sauce which I’ll talk about in a later blog, and you’ll have people at cookouts asking you what you did to make it so good. I always tell guys to do yourself a favor, and learn how to girll a few really good things (steak, chicken, burgers, etc.). Girls love it, and it will payoff tremendously in the long  run.

Song of the summer

I hit the nail on the head with Despacito. That song was EVERYWHERE this summer. Every top 40 station, every bar, nightclub, restaurant, work place you name it. That was by far the song of the summer. Selena Gomez “it aint me” and DJ Khalid’s “the one” gave it a run, but it was Despacito that proved to be the song of the summer.

Basketball wrapped up.

warriors win.jpgJust as predicted. It was Warriors/Cavs, and the warriors smoked them like pretty much everyone knew they would. That’s sent the NBA into this weird world of everyone trying to build superteams just to compete. I’m going to bet Lebron ends up in Houston in a year from now with melo and CP3 for a banana boat reunion at the twilight of his career. You heard it here first.

banana boat.png

My fidget spinner

I’ve never seen a fad fade faster than a fidget spinner. It was all the rage for like 2 weeks in the summer when everyone had one everywhere, and then it just died. Nobody cared about them anymore. I actually still enjoy mine spinning it when I’m bored at work, but that’s about it.

Things I did.

  1. I read a full book. I lost my list of books that I was interested in, so if you have any good recommendations, let me know.
  2. I perfected cooking a burger.
  3. I’ve been putting together an old record player, piece by piece from pawn shops.
  4. I became a Moscow mule guy, and perfected the drink.
  5. I went to 3 baseball games.
  6. I got a new pair of expensive sunglasses.
  7. I went on a quest to find the best local burger joint, and still haven’t found the best one after trying about 18 different burgers so far.
  8. I took a picture of 3 awesome sunsets.
  9. I became a “hot toddy” guy for about 2 months, and then I dropped it cold turkey to become a “Moscow mule guy” (see point 4).
  10. I watched a few netflix shows (stranger things, master of none, flaked, the office (again), shameless, archer). Some good. some not so much.
  11. I didn’t blog. Sorry guys.
  12. I mailed two hand written letters. One to the mom. One to the sister.
  13. I got a new iPhone battery and it’s a game changer. Phone used to die 2-3 times a day, and now it can last the whole day on 1 charge. Life is good.
  14. I got a sphere ice cube mold which I use to sip whisky at the end of a long day. It’s awesome, and makes me feel sophisticated.

Probably not the most productive summer to some of you readers, but to me, it’s all good. Fall is here now. Football season is about to start, the weather is about to turn crisp, hoodies and jackets are going to make their way out of the closet once again. The best time of the year is upon us.

winter is coming

Summa is almost here…

I love the sweet summatime! Weather is warming up, and the Grill is even hotter. Steak season is back baby (I told you how to make the best one in this blog a while back).

A couple of things on you boy Salsa:

I’m going to make this summer Rock…as in Rolling Rock rock on.jpgbeers or “ponies” if you will. I’ve been loving me some rocks ever since my local grocery store did a ridulous sale for 12 bottles for 6 bucks. You kidding me? I pay like 12 bucks a beer at some places down town. 12 bottle for 6 bones is a steal! Been sippin these bad boys ever since and will continue to do so for the duration of the summer.

In other news and notes, Five Guys and In-n-Out were voted the two best burgers in america yesterday. If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, my second ever blog posted on salsa speaks was titled “Talkin Burgers” where I told you that Five guys and In-n-Out were the best two burgers in America. That was 3+ years ago! I’m a man of the people and I know my stuff.

Song of the summer?

Des-Pa-Cito! (po-quito po-quito) so catchy and so awesome. I kinda like the original version better than the bieber one, but they’re both amazing. You can’t not listen to the song and want to move your body a little to the beat. Great tune.

Basketball is wrapping up

We’ll finally get Lebron vs. the Warriors part two in a few weeks, and I fully expect the Warriors to crush the Cavs. Time will tell.

steph bron.jpeg

I bought a spinner. I’m not sure why,  but I’ll write a blog on this thing at a later time. If it’s a craze that’s taking over the nation, I want in  on it. I love tspinner.JPGrends, I‘ve blogged about the most popular (and dumbest) trends of the past 20 years or so. If it’s hot in the streets, I need to be part of it. I’m excited to see my spinner in the next few days.


I got a new iPad. If you’ll remember, I broke my iPad a few months ago, and finally saved up a few nickles for a new one. Now I have a bunch of new Netflix shows to catch up on. I blogged about the top shows on Netflix a while back, and those are some great suggestions if you haven’t seen them.

I also have a list of books I want to check out this summer. I may even do a book blog, but I read an article the other day with some great recommendations, so I may turn it into a series or something if people like them.

I plan on doing some more blogging than I have been, but that remains to be seen. Not sure how much time I’ll have to sit down and come up with some solid and interesting stuff for you guys to read. Page views have been actually rising tremendously recently, and I can’t figure out why. Maybe some of you are finding this site for the first time and getting sucked down the drain of random shit we discuss here.

It’s a nice little anonymous community they we’ve built and I’m grateful for all of you loyal readers, I hope this blog brings back some good memories for the long time guys and gives a good window to who we are for the newbies.

Get out there and enjoy you some summer. Happy early memorial day my friends.





My Gut reaction to “31 things every guy should own”

I’m a guy, and I’m guessing I will probably own about 22 of the 31 things every guy should own (according to esquire). I’ll be real disappointed if I’m lower than that. Lets take a look:

  1. Cast Iron Skillet- Yes
  2. Valid Passport- Yesbruce
  3. Multipurpose tool-Yes
  4. Corkscrew/ opener/knife-Yes
  5. Ax- yes
  6. WD-40- Yes
  7. Cordless Drill-Yes (mine has cord)
  8. Weekend Soulder bag- No
  9. Giant Wool Blanket never removed from car -No
  10. Chain Saw-No
  11. Work Gloves-Yes
  12. Carpenters Level-Yes
  13. Work Boots -Yes
  14. Everyday Boots-Yes
  15. Jack- Yes
  16. Claw Hammer-Yes
  17. Lantern-Yes
  18. Chef Knife-Yesmanly men book
  19. Flying Disc-Yes
  20. US Roads Atlas-No
  21. Air Pump-No
  22. Jumper Cables-Yes
  23. Charcoal Grill- No (sold it)
  24. Card Holder-Yes
  25. Pocket Knife-Yes
  26. Grease-No
  27. Lucky Charm-Yes
  28. Hidden Cash-Yes
  29. LED Flashlight-Yes
  30. Money Clip-Yes
  31. Cookbook- Yes

All and all I think I did pretty well.25 our of 31 items is much better than I anticipated. This was an average list, nothing special on here. The one take-away that I absolutely need is the wool blanket in the car. That would come in so handy for so many situations that you run into. Just last week I was crashing at a friends place who had no extra pillows or blankets  for guests. Could have really used one. I’m not sure every guy needs grease, an atlas, or a chain saw either. I’m not going to say you need an air-pump, but that could help you get out of a tough situation, so I may be on board with that. The charcoal grill is a really nice item to have, but I had to sell it because my place doesn’t allow grills anymore.

The one thing this list inspired me to get is that big blanket that never leaves the car. It’s perfect for picnics, stargazing, and dates with the ladies 😉

car blanket



I’m in a blogging rut.


There’s no other way to say it. I’m in a blogging funk. My life has been a whirlwind lately, with a ton of changes, and I just haven’t found that many interesting things to blog about in the past few weeks. My overall goal of this blog is to bring you entertaining and or informative content, and I just haven’t had much material to work with lately. I’m not going to post crap just to post something.

I’ve recently picked up another side gig which is taking up a lot of my free time that I used to use for blogging. At this point, I’m only blogging for fun and to meet cool people online (hit me up on Twitter @Salsastoolie –it go down in da DM).

I’ll continue to work to bring you the best quality things I can, so stick with me my friends and continue to ride the wave.


Do you remember…?

…downloading songs from KaZaa/ Bear Share/ Limewire?


…having to clean the mouse ball if your cursor was lagging?

mouse ball.jpg

…the sound of dial up internet?

…using a phone with a cord?


…CD’s with 100 free hours of AOL?

aol cd.jpg

…blockbuster video?


…burning CD’s?

burned cds.jpg

… using *69?

In most areas of the United States, phone companies offer *69 service. If you miss a call, or receive one from an unknown caller, dialing *69 on your phone will identify the last caller’s number (if possible) and give you the option to call them back.
He thought he could just hang up on me and I wouldn’t know who he was, but I star 69ed his ass.

…AIM/AOL instant messenger (a/s/l)?


…bleached hair/ frosted tips?


…Kodak disposable cameras?


….floppy disks?

floppy disk.jpg

…not being able to use “Google” (or when google had an !)?**


I was just thinking to myself today. Imagine telling some young whippersnapper about growing up in a world with NO social media, NO Google, NO internet, and NO Cell Phone. That makes me sound old as fuck. Kind of crazy to think about. I’m glad I grew up without all the crap that kids have today, because I don’t know that I would have ever gotten heavily involved in sports. To this day, most of my best friends are people I grew up with playing Baseball, Basketball, and Lacrosse. Yes, I was once a “Lax Bro” many moons ago.

**RIP to the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button on Google. I used to wear that thing out.

I have never tasted Sprite

Shitty blog alert!  This is by far one of the strangest things about me.

I rarely tell people this, because it never comes up in everyday conversation, but I always get a baffled reaction from people when I mention that I’ve never tasted a Sprite in my entire life. No gas.

It’s just one of thosprite2.jpgse things that has never appealed to me. I’m usually going to drink one of 4 things. If I’m going with a soda, It’s always a Regular Coke or Dr. Pepper. If I’m going for something more refreshing, it’s Water or Gatorade. That’s it and that’s all.

Those are literally the only four drinks I ever drink. Sprite has never appealed to me. It’s simply a clear version of a soda, and it’s just not my cup of tea. The weirdest part is that I actually like lemon and lime flavors, and I use them when I’m cooking all the time.

It’s kind of surprising that Sprite is like the #2 option on any coke machine or Soda Fountain in the world, yet I don’t usually see people walking around with their 20 oz sprite bottles. Seriously look around today when you’re walking on the street, ordering lunch, riding the train, or sitting on the bus. Who’s drinking all this sprite? I rarely see anyone ordering it when I’m out. Back in college, a bunch of my buddies would order Vodka-Sprites but I’d just opt for the jack and coke instead.

I’ll probably never drink a sprite in my life and that’s completely fine with me.

Disobey your thirst.



Best Pickup Lines (Part 2)


Once again, Reddit was asked what people’s best pickup lines were. We’ve already discussed this topic at length in this blog 6 months ago, but I thought it’d be fun to rate the lines that some of the fellow redditors came up with.

A buddy of mine is really good with women. He does this one thing on our uni campus where he’ll go up to a random girl.

Him: “hey I have a question and need a woman’s advice”

Her: “sure what’s up?”

Him: “let’s say I see a really cute girl, do I go up and talk to her or is that too direct?”

Her: 99.9999% of them say: “you should totally go talk to her.”

Him: he then introduces himself.


Rating: 7.9/10

Analysis: Not really a line, but I can see where this would be effective. Worth a shot.

I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You’re making the other girls look bad.

I have personally used it and succeeded.

Rating: 5.8/10

Analysis: The “I have personally used it and succeeded” line at the end is the biggest self cock-stroke of all time. This guy is a LOSER.


“Do you have an ugly boyfriend? No? Want one?”


“Well good thing i’m here then”

Rating: 8.0/10

Analysis: I love the versatility of this line. You can go in a ton of different directions based on her response.


I usually just start talking to a girl, then go to leave and say “let me get your number before I go”. Pretty standard, but if she were to say no, I’m leaving anyway.

Rating: 9.0/10

Analysis: This direct approach is usually very effective after you’ve had a good conversation with someone that seems cool. Always ask for the number on the way out of the bar (if you haven’t gotten it already). Just casually put your phone in their hands and use the assumptive close as you tell them something like “you can give me a fake number if you want, but I just wanted to let you know that you seem like a really cool person, and I was hoping we could meet up again sometime if you’re interested”. Don’t be a jerk, don’t be a jackass, be confident, and usually they won’t have time to create a fake number that quickly. Then you can win their heart with a good text game, but that’s another blog for another day.

Read Part 1 of My Best Pickup Lines & Advice here.

Good luck out there.



I NEED this floating plant for my pad.

Been a while since I’ve seen something and immediately yelled “NEED IT”.

That’s exactly what I did when I saw the floating trees/plants being talked about on the internet today.

I haven’t bought a plant in my entire life, but I’ll be damned if that deter me from purchasing one of the most beautifully advanced pieces of foliage these eyes have ever seen.

This would easily take the #1 spot for the best “desk plant” on the market. julian.jpg

Having a well tended plant at your desk gives you instant credibility with the office hot chick. It shows that you can take care of something without killing it. Back in the cubes, I’d always used to keep a glass full of water, and make sure to be watering my plant right as the office hottie would walk by my desk and- BOOM-instant conversation starter. And if you didn’t know by now, initiating the conversation is half the battle. (I also wrote an in-depth blog on that topic last year that’s worth a read)

Top 5 “Desk Plants”

  1. Bamboobamboo.jpg

  2. Bonzai treebonzai tree.jpg

  3. Aloe plantaloe.jpg

  4. Green Onionsgreen onions.jpg

  5. Chia Pet



PS- It’s too bad that this is a kickstarter project, because I haven’t had the best history of investing in winners on that dump of a site.

My Official “Walk Up” Song Selection.

vince walk.gif

One of my biggest regrets is that I chose to play high school basketball with my friends instead of baseball, so I never actually got the opportunity to have my own walk up song.

I feel like I still need one though. I hadn’t thought about what I would use as a walk up song since the NFL Draft last year where they let the players pick their personal music choice that played as they made their way up to the podium. I just remember the selections being TERRIBLE.

If you’re interested in a complete list of who used what song click the links below (via but be warned, because it’s all trash.

These choices all decent themes (Get Money! I’m so paid! I grinded hard! I made it!), but that’s not what makes a good walk up jam. A walkup is all about the beat. Nobody listens to lyrics, you need something that makes people stop and turn their head. You need something unique. You need something that people can vibe to. No intros or slow buildups, you need something that comes out of the gate fast as soon as you hit the play button.

Without further adieu, and after going through about 150 potential candidates, I have officially selected M.I.A.’s-Double Bubble Trouble as my Official Walk Up song. Now hit the music!!!!


This song has everything I was looking for. It leaks heat straight from the start: UHHHHHHHHHHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (you’re in trouble)

I step up in da game and and I burst. dat. bubble.

My Walkup. The New Anthem. The Intro that will play from the rafters as Salsa makes his way to the stage as he accepts the award for 2016’s breakthrough blogger of the year. This song has it all: great beat, good lyrics, variety, obscurity, notoriety, and Impact. Sure it gets a little shitty at the end, but you usually only need a walkup for like 1:30 max, unless you’re a certified asshole.

When my name is called and this song starts playing, I want people asking “who’s that” and “what song is that??” while simultaneously screaming “UHHH OHHH! YOUR IN TROUBLE!” when I step up in the game.

What a find indeed.

PS- My #2 choice would be BlackMill- The Drift. Another choice from left field, but peasants be jammin’ to Meek Mill while bloggers vibe out to Blackmill aka that next level shit right here. Now push play on the video below and tell me you don’t start head-nodding almost immediately when that beat drops.

PPS- I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the best “background highlight reel song” of all time from 2SFH-Protectors of the Earth. They don’t want you to enjoy- so enjoy.