All posts by salsastoolie

Summa is almost here…

I love the sweet summatime! Weather is warming up, and the Grill is even hotter. Steak season is back baby (I told you how to make the best one in this blog a while back).

A couple of things on you boy Salsa:

I’m going to make this summer Rock…as in Rolling Rock rock on.jpgbeers or “ponies” if you will. I’ve been loving me some rocks ever since my local grocery store did a ridulous sale for 12 bottles for 6 bucks. You kidding me? I pay like 12 bucks a beer at some places down town. 12 bottle for 6 bones is a steal! Been sippin these bad boys ever since and will continue to do so for the duration of the summer.

In other news and notes, Five Guys and In-n-Out were voted the two best burgers in america yesterday. If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, my second ever blog posted on salsa speaks was titled “Talkin Burgers” where I told you that Five guys and In-n-Out were the best two burgers in America. That was 3+ years ago! I’m a man of the people and I know my stuff.

Song of the summer?

Des-Pa-Cito! (po-quito po-quito) so catchy and so awesome. I kinda like the original version better than the bieber one, but they’re both amazing. You can’t not listen to the song and want to move your body a little to the beat. Great tune.

Basketball is wrapping up

We’ll finally get Lebron vs. the Warriors part two in a few weeks, and I fully expect the Warriors to crush the Cavs. Time will tell.

steph bron.jpeg

I bought a spinner. I’m not sure why,  but I’ll write a blog on this thing at a later time. If it’s a craze that’s taking over the nation, I want in  on it. I love tspinner.JPGrends, I‘ve blogged about the most popular (and dumbest) trends of the past 20 years or so. If it’s hot in the streets, I need to be part of it. I’m excited to see my spinner in the next few days.


I got a new iPad. If you’ll remember, I broke my iPad a few months ago, and finally saved up a few nickles for a new one. Now I have a bunch of new Netflix shows to catch up on. I blogged about the top shows on Netflix a while back, and those are some great suggestions if you haven’t seen them.

I also have a list of books I want to check out this summer. I may even do a book blog, but I read an article the other day with some great recommendations, so I may turn it into a series or something if people like them.

I plan on doing some more blogging than I have been, but that remains to be seen. Not sure how much time I’ll have to sit down and come up with some solid and interesting stuff for you guys to read. Page views have been actually rising tremendously recently, and I can’t figure out why. Maybe some of you are finding this site for the first time and getting sucked down the drain of random shit we discuss here.

It’s a nice little anonymous community they we’ve built and I’m grateful for all of you loyal readers, I hope this blog brings back some good memories for the long time guys and gives a good window to who we are for the newbies.

Get out there and enjoy you some summer. Happy early memorial day my friends.





Is chip bag chili something sober people eat? Frito Pie?

Time for another Salsa Investigation…

frito pie.jpgToday

I’m all about that #FritoPieLife

I’d never heard of a frito Pie until yesterday. I guess it’s something that originated out in Texas? I saw a video of a guy walking and spooning chips out of a Tostito’s bag on a video the other day. At first I thought he had something wrong with him because he was eating chips with a spoon, but then I realized that chip-bag chili is actually something people do?

You get a bag of tostios or fritos, dump in chili add in cheese and then eat it as you walk.

My only question would be “How drunk am I”?? Because that seems like a phenominal drunk food to keep me occupied while I walk the 1/2 mile back to my apartment before loading in a frozen pizza watching 30 minutes of sportscenter and crashing. It’s almost like a perfect appetizer for your feast. Drunk food power rankings will be a great blog for another day. But right now I’m focused on this Frito-Pie thing.

I legit think I may skip the bars next weekend and have a ‘Make your own chip bag chili buffet’ for 7 bucks or something. One crockpot of chili- a bunch of small bags of fritos, some cheese, and maybe some sour cream and bingo bango you have your self a very nice little business on the street corner between 1-3 a.m.

My next question: Is it legal to sell a chili buffet out of the back of your truck in an empty parking lot owned by the city? what about if you’re parked on the street?

These are legit questions, because knowing my dumbass luck, I’d make about $250 slinging chip bag chili all night, and then I’d promptly be served with a $300 ticket for not complying to some bullshit food truck code.

Should I just try it anyway? I figure I could pocket a cool 200-300 bucks a weekend for just a few hours work, and basically no startup cost. That’s a nice little clip if you’re not doing much else.


Just make a killing off the drunk people running around town. I would buy it. Hell I may have to try it for dinner tonight just to test it out. I didn’t know it was a thing people actually do??

Have you had chip-bag-chili?

Tell me about it in the comments below.

A while ago I came up with this idea

I have a lot of million dollar ideas, but the other day I was sitting at a bar and I turned around, and there it was! My idea from about 6 years back just hanging on the wall staring right back at me. “Fuck” I thought…There it is. Another wasted opportunity.


My idea: 5 hour energy drink vending machines. You put them in gas stations, strip clubs, bars, rest stops, and every office in the world. Buy the energy shots in bulk for a dollar a bottle and sell them for 3. Bing Bang Boom. Profit

The actual product: It was like a tiny gas station vending machine that looked like a metal safe, and it was about 2 feet wide and 3 feet high. It sold 5 hour energy’s, asprin, some small candy, condoms, cologne, and some other small gas-station type items. It was absolutely unreal. My idea. My millions. All gone to the creator of this beautiful machine.

I did some research, and I think the company is called Vengo, it’s like a digital vending machine, but it’s a cool concept. Basically: they have a touch screen interface, accept credit card payments, they focus on selling gas station type items, can hold up to 6 different items and a total of 100 things.They were actually on Shark Tank too. Here’s the pitch:

Getting 2 sharks on board always means you have an idea with some serious potential.

Time will tell if these guys succeed or fail, but I’ll be pulling for them.





Chef Gordon Ramsey roasting Amateur Chef’s on Twitter is why I love the internet.

Every once in a while I come across something that really cracks me up. Today I was sitting on the shitter scrolling through twitter when I came across people asking Gordon Ramsey for his feedback on their cooking. They send a pic and he’d roast them.

Roll the tweets…


… Hilarious stuff from all corners of the internet. Some people were obviously trolling with their pics, but I’d like to believe that some people honestly thought they had a good dish. Having a professional chef with 4.11 Million (4,110,000 followers!>!>?!?!) shit all over your cooking is hilarious.

. I can’t say it any better than no chill n8:




The First Valentines Day Together is Pretty Awkward…

it really is.

When you’re in that “what are we” phase of the relationship, where it’s still new or just not really defined yet…Valentines day can get awkward as shit.

Too little she’s pissed, too much she’s scared. It’s almost a no win situation for the guy. How much do you discuss it beforehand? Does she lie and think it’s a big deal? You never know.

Some people are big birthday people. I’ve never been that guy. Some people LOVE them some birthdays, and will spend an entire week celebrating their day. I couldn’t care less about it, and truthfully, I forgot about my birthday entirely this last year when it fell on a meaningless Wednesday in the middle of a long work week. I didn’t even go out for my traditional steak dinner (which I treat myself to every year).

If your newly acquired significant other is a big “birthday person” you better believe he/she is going to be a big Valentines day person.

The best thing you can do is ask them to describe their last birthday to you. That’s a sneaky way to figure out if you’re going to have to break the bank on V-Day or not.

Always remember: Never set the bar too high on your first Valentines Day together.




The Falcons Blew It.

My prediction was 45-24 Falcons.At halftime the dirty birds led the Patriots 21-3 and midway through the 3rd quarter the falcons were up 28-3. The Falcons were well on the way to their first ever Super Bowl win in franchise history… and then they blew it. It was the most brutal game I’ve ever seen and this picture will probably haunt me forever.


A 99.6% win probability late in the 3rd quarter, and we lost. Unreal.

strip sack.jpg


This is Atlanta sports. This is my life. This is my nightmare.


In a few hours, the Atlanta Falcons will be your World Champs for the first time ever. #RiseUp

The Super Bowl is here and the Falcons are back for the first time in 19 years.

This time is different. This time we will win.

1998 was a fluke year where we happened to upset the best team in football at the time (15-1 minnesota vikings), and then we got absolutely dumptrucked by John Elway in the Super Bowl. I knew in my heart of hearts that we had almost no shot in that super bowl, and when the broncos jumped out big early- that was it.

Today will be different. Even though New England is favored by 3, the Falcons are going to win. I have very little doubt of that. The Falcons are the better team. As long as they avoid the “big game jitters” they’ll win going away (falcons 45, New England 24).

The team that jumps out early wins the game. If it’s close at the end of the 1st quarter, the Falcons will take it. Their offense is one of the greatest of all time, and you can’t possibly keep up with it. I’ve been watching them all year. Today we will finally bring the Trophy to Atlanta. Today is a great day to be alive and one that I’ll likely remember for the rest of my life. I love this team, and I love this fucking City. #RiseUp

superbowl 3.jpg

PS- Congrats to Matty Ice, your NFL MVP