Edible Coffee Cubes.
I love coffee. I didn’t become a coffee guy until I entered the working world after college, but that morning cup of joe is one of the best parts of my day. I’m usually a 1-2 cup a day guy.
Recently I heard about these chewable coffee cubes called “Go Cubes” that are supposed to replace drinking a cup of coffee.
I can see how everyone might not have time to make coffee, and that transporting it to and from work is a little cumbersome, but is it really that big of an inconvenience?
Early reviews are that these coffee cubes taste horrible. That’s the problem with all these “revolutionary energy source” ideas. They all taste like crap. I’m not saying coffee tastes that great, but I do like the taste (with or without extra stuff added in), and it works just fine for me. I also find it more effective than a 5 hour energy.
I remember one time on Shark Tank, some dude pitched a caffeinated waffle in a package with the same concept. As soon as the sharks tasted it, they spit it out and all of them just hated the taste. That’s exactly how I’d imagine these gummy cubes going over with the general public. Sure it’s a decent idea, but not something people would actually consider.
Also do you remember the 5 hour Energy Hype from like 2011-2013? Those commercials used to be everywhere. 5 hour this, 5 hour that- next big thing. That was like a two year period of advertising overload which we most recently experienced with the 2015 September DraftKings ads…btw fuck DraftKings .Whatever happened to 5 hour energy?** Do people still use them? I used to drink one before I’d go out for a night on the town, but that’s about it. Other than that- I’d only grab one at a gas station if I had a lot of driving ahead of me. They’ve pretty much stopped advertising. I think it was a classic example of pricing yourself out of the market. They used to charge about $3.50 a bottle, and now they’ve slowly come down to around $2.00 a bottle, where they should’ve been all along. Hindsight is always 20/20, but they should’ve seen that coming.
Oh and the price of this chewable coffee isn’t even that great either. It works out to about $2.95 per coffee for the cubes. Sure, that’s less than a $4.00 Latte at Starbucks, but I’m rolling with a giant can of Folgers that costs about 8 bucks and lasts me 2 weeks. That’s just how I roll. Simple dude with simple tastes. Like I’ve said 1,000 times before- I’m remarkably average. It’s still on my current Twitter Bio:
PS- I still think Jolt Gum was a better concept than any of these alternative coffee sources. Whatever happened to this stuff?
**PPS- In case you were actually wondering what happened to 5-Hour Energy, it appears that it has been cited as a primary cause in 13 deaths a few years back, and they’ve also been involved in a prolonged 8 year legal battle involving Trademark Infringement, which they just won in Feb. 2016. (source)