A Guide on Crushing Your Jury Duty

Your boy Salsa just went through his first Jury Duty sesh yesterday morning. I figured a bunch of you probably haven’t ever been, so I decided to do a blog on what you should expect, what to bring, and how my particular experience went down.

1st you get a letter in the mail about 1-2 weeks prior to when you’re summoned to court. I had to be at the courthouse at 8 AM in the morning. You go in, go through a metal detector, and you’re separated into 4 rooms. My room had about 100 people in it. You turn in your sheet of paper to prove you were there, and then you watch a 15 minute video about the importance of serving for our judicial system. The Room looks like this:

jury room

After the video, they give you like 15-30 minutes to buy snacks and coffee from the vending machines or this tiny little breakfast cart. After that, it’s back in your designated rooms to wait. At this point, 2 of the 4 rooms were released for the day. I was in a room that had to stay. Then after an hour of sitting they came in and took out about 50 people, and they were released. I was still stuck sitting in the room. After another 1.5 hours, the remaining people in our room (including myself) were released for the day. They explained to us that we had been selected as potential jurors, but none of our trials required a jury.

The whole thing took about 4 hours total. I actually had nothing better to do, so I was hoping that I would be selected to at least hear a case.

If you have jury duty:

  1. Bring an Ipad/tablet/something to read- Crucial necessity. The courthouse had free wi-fi, but there were a bunch of restricted websites, so I just read a book on my kindle app most of the time.
  2. Bring some change for vending machines
  3. Don’t be early. I was supposed to be there at 8:00AM, but there were literally people showing up at like 8:45 and even as late as 9:00 and they had no issue checking in. I busted my ass to wake up early, fight traffic, and show up on time. All this hassle so I would get credit, and then you have these fucking losers waltzing in an hour late with no repercussions. The jokes on me I guess. When you arrive, you fill out this little half sheet of paper and this process takes about 1-1.5 hours for everyone to complete.
  4. Another reason to show up right on time, or slightly late is because you have the ability to pick who you sit next to, which is crucial. Find a cute chick and sit by her. I was stuck by a smelly fat guy and a woman who looked like a witch because I showed up a little early, and they sat around me.
  5. They paid us $6.00 for our time, and parking was $6.00 so take that for what you will.
  6. Bring some headphones: listened to a few podcasts while I waited.
  7. Bring a backup charger for phone and iPad.

cousin vinny

There you go. You survived.

Jury duty really isn’t a big deal at all. People bitch about it just to bitch, but the reality is that it is rare to be selected for a trial lasting more than 3-5 days to reach a verdict. My advice is to just enjoy it, and laugh at all the weirdo people that are having a much worse time than you while you’re there. If nothing else, jury duty will give you a reminder how stupid and pathetic a lot of other people are in this world. Be thankful you’re not like them. This is probably the #2 on my list for greatest people watching places on the planet ( for number #1 click here).

Hope this helps, and good luck out there!

PS- Once you’ve done jury duty, you’re exempt for the next 3 years (that’s the real reason I’m publishing this blog)



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