Apparently Jimmy Fallon Loves the Sauce: A Salsa Investigation

Well Jimmy done done it again. For the second time in a few months he’s broken his hand in an unidentified drinking accident. Yeah, yeah, whatever.

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What I find fascinating is this comment left by an anonymous person over on an article at Barstool Sports.

Fallon Story

Context: “saw him do a show in college. Afterwords I was at a bar he was at and he ended up getting kicked out later for doing coke off a table in plain view. The next day several stories popped up about him going to frat and smashing their vacuum cleaner while pounding a bottle of Beam, making pizzas at the campus Domino’s and capping off the night by spending the night at a sorority”

In my opinion this story has way too many small details to be false. Smashing a vacuum in a frat? Why would someone make up such a random tale? One things for sure, if any of that shit happens this day in age, there’s gotta be some sort of internet paper trail. I think it’s time for another Salsa investigation, so I’m going to research these claims and see what I can dig up. If any of these stories turn out to be true, I’m going to accept the fact that this person is not lying and that Jimmy Fallon is a much cooler person than I’ve originally thought.

For this blog, we’ll be heading back to high school science class by implementing the Scientific Method.

Question:
Is Jimmy a cool guy?

Hypothesis:
IF there’s internet evidence of one or more of the commenter’s claims about Fallon, THEN Jimmy Fallon is actually a cool guy, and I’ll have more respect for him.

Independent Variable:
1.Jimmy Fallon Commenter Allegations

Dependent Variables:
1. Validity of claim (true or inconclusive)
2. Opinion of Jimmy Fallon (good or bad)

Procedure:
1. Google Jimmy Fallon kicked out coke.
2. Google Jimmy Fallon frat vacuum
3. Google Jimmy Fallon spends night sorority
4. Google Jimmy Fallon makes domino’s pizza
5. Draw Conclusion.

Results:
1. Nothing
2. Nada
3. Zilch
4. Zippo

Conclusion:
After many Googles, I was unable to come up with any conclusive evidence that any of the commmenters allegations are true. So I guess that means Jimmy is still lame. That said, there’s a pretty good article you should check out on Fallon right here because it may change your opinion of the guy.

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PS- One of my life goals is to be spoofed in South Park. When you’ve been featured there, you’ve officially made it.

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