So I have a local hot dog guy who I hit up about once ever week or so. He’s a cool dude- has a little stand on the street, and his dogs are fantastic. I always get the same thing.
1 foot-long dog with mustard and chopped onions.
Simple as pie. I’m in, out, and on my way in less than 3 minutes.
The one issue I have with him, is that he squirts the mustard like Tommy Pickles shoots milk from his bottle at the end of the Rug-Rats intro. Every. Single. Time.
It’s supposed to go on the dog between the buns, and this careless mother fucker just zig-zags the whole bun (and some of the pavement). He holds the dog at about a 45 degree angle and shoots mustard at it like he’s using a garden hose to water an 10×10 foot garden from one spot. It’s the sloppiest thing ever.
I called him out the other day, and he says I’m the only person that’s ever mentioned it in the last 5 years. Am I on an island here? I wouldn’t dream of having mustard go on the outside part of the bun if I was making this dog for guests at my house. I need my dog neat and clean. I’m not using the bread as a boat for the mustard, it’s sole purpose to protect your hands from condiment overflow!
The bottom line is that it’s always stained shirt waiting to happen. More importantly, this sloppy mustard dog requires extra napkins and increases the chances of you getting mustard on your face.
If you’ve ever been working with someone who has a stained shirt or food on their face, you know why this is such a big deal.
Tell me what you think on twitter @salsastoolie