In today’s lesson, we’ll take a closer look at the guy who brings his own pool stick to the bar.
Don’t be that guy. If you’re in a pool league, fine. If it’s a pool tournament, fine. Hell, if it’s a pool hall, I’m fine with it, but don’t be the guy who brings his personal pool stick to a crowded bar on a Saturday afternoon. You sir are a LOSER, and everyone at that bar is making fun of you.
I was at the bar this weekend and they had free pool going on during happy hour. This guy shows up with 3 different pool sticks (all for him), a travel case, his personal stand, and a glove. I decided to challenge him to a game just for chuckles, and he agreed.
When he hit his first shot and the pool ball actually reversed angles after the shot I knew I was fucked. Turns out that he was a semi-pro pool player, and he was good, but not that much better than me which is pretty pathetic. I lost 2 of 3 games to him, but he was the cockiest ass clown in the whole bar about it. It was unbelievable. He’d shout out “GREAT LEAVE” after about 80% of his shots, and he kept telling me how I should execute certain shots with names I couldn’t even pronounce. At one point, I considered going Andy Dufresne on him by asking how he could be so obtuse.
The icing on the cake came in the middle of Game 3 where he decided to launch into a 7 minute speech about the difference between “bar rules” and “APA Rules” (which I guess is American Pool Association?). He was shocked that I was playing using “bar rules” (the only rules I know). At first I thought he was just yanking my chain, but came to find that he was 100% serious. After giving me about 25 reasons why he “shouldn’t have to be subjected to these rules” he finally agreed to “play it my way” and he acted like he was doing me a huge favor. Get over yourself dude!
At the end of the third game he was clearly going to win, so I asked him for advice on a shot, he gave me his suggestion, and then I proceeded to do the exact opposite of what he suggested. He was absolutely beside himself and just sat there stewing for a minute before taking his next shot. He got the message. It was a small victory for the Salsa man. At the end of the day, I wasn’t him, so that’s a win.
Don’t be personal pool stick guy. DBTG