You’re a loser if you buy the new Apple Watch

(via BI)-Thirty-one million watches is still an impressive number. But, the fact that he’s seeing weak interest shortly after the product was released is worrisome.In his note, he says part of the reason interest is subdued is because of Apple’s watch sales process. People need appointments to test out the watch in the store. But he thinks this is smart since it allows Apple to train people on how to use the watch: “Word of mouth will be important, so training users is needed.”One problem with the word of mouth idea: We’re skeptical word of mouth will do much with the watch. After a few days of using the watch, we’ve found that its main strength is as a watch, which is not super compelling to most users.


According to Apple, there’s been ‘lackluster interest’ in their dumbass watch they just released.

I’ve said it somewhere on the blog before, but if you are one of those people who brag about wearing technology (google glass, smart watch etc.), you are a fucking loser. The rest of society is judging you, and you deserve all the flack you get.

These watches are just a terrible idea. They’re simply another phone on your wrist and they’re too big, too ugly, not even that functional. I’ve also read that the watch requires you to charge it every night as well.

“Oh great, another piece of technology that I have to worry about running out of charge and plugging in every night? SIGN ME UP!”

The most preposterous thing about this damn watch is that you actually have to SET AN APPOINTMENT at an Apple store with one of their “Geniuses” to show you how to use it before you buy it.The thing has one button- it’s not the TI 89 graphing calculator. Apple is doing this because they think they’ll ‘rely heavily on word of mouth to build interest in watch’. Swing and a miss Apple. It’s 2015 and your company’s products (iphone, ipad, imac) are the main reason that people avoid face to face interactions with actual humans. You know this, yet you’re requiring your customers to actually set an appointment to get your product. That move is so god damn cocky I almost respect it. Almost.

China Apple

“Hey, buy our ridiculously overpriced ugly square so you can be hip. Not so fast, you’ll have to set a 15 minute appointment from one of our pre-pubesent achne riddled nerds before we’ll sell you one. Trust us, you’ll thank us later.”

Apple has already lowered their sales estimations by 25% but they should’ve lowered it much more than that.  #Business101 under promise, over deliver.  After the initial sales pop of the Apple fanboys fades away, nobody is going to be interested in these watches. Enjoy it while it lasts, because in less than a year from today we’ll be reading articles headlined:

  • What Went Wrong with the Apple Watch?
  • Apple Watch: First Miss from Apple Juggernaut
  • Even Apple Makes Mistakes
  • 10 Reasons the Apple Watch Failed

If you buy one of these things you are an asshole. I don’t really respect you, and you are a sheep.

I’m still convinced that this product is Apple’s internal heat check. It reminds me how Russel Westbrook makes 4 shots in a row, thinks he can’t miss and then proceeds to launch an airball from 8 feet beyond the 3pt line. Russel Westbrook is Apple and Apple is over here with their head in the iClouds.

watch break gif

mic drop


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