Karl Malone is Hilarious

One of my favorite basketball player’s growing up was John Stockton. Just a small white dude who could hit threes and one of the best passers in the game. I wore Stockton’s #12 all the way through high school ball, and I watched a lot Jazz games back in the 90’s.Watching Utah gave me a huge helping of Karl Mallow (i type it like that because that’s how it sounds when Karl says his own name). Over the years, I’ve become a bigger and bigger fan of “the Mailman” Karl Malone.

Cue epic tribute video:

Here’s some reasons Karl is one of the funniest/coolest dudes ever.

1. His nickname: The Mailman- Greatest nickname of all time or greatest nickname of all time? Hilarious when Pippen muttered “mailman don’t deliver on sunday” when Karl was on the line to ice the game back in the day.

2. His voice: the dude talks like a country bumpkin, and it kind of reminds me of Randy Moss’s voice in a way. You just never expect that voice to come out of that man.

3. He’s a fucking beast. The guys muscles have muscles.
malonestrong

4. He wears cowboy hats and boots and goes hunting on the regular. Name another black guy that embraces the redneck lifestyle. You can’t.
malone redneck bear

5. He rides Harley Motorcycles and wears things like this.
molone motorcycle

6. 2 MVPs, 2nd all time in points, 6th all time in rebounds, 19 seasons and Never missed the playoffs. Wow

7. People hated him. He took cheap shots and threw elbows all the time.

8. He’s was tougher than a coffin nail. Malone only missed 6 games in 18 seasons with the Jazz. Unreal.

9. He wants to fight Brock Lesner

10. He is a wrestler.
maloneWrestle

11. He owns a timber company and clears land in his free time.
Los Angeles Lakers Karl Malone

12. Karl knows about movies

13. He’s a fucking showman. Anything prettier than the Karl Malone dunk pose? Often imitated, never duplicated #trendsetter4life
malone pose
malon posers

The reason for this blog is because Karl Malone made headlines this morning by challenging Kobe to a fight. He blatantly tells Kobe to “knuckle up”. I didn’t think i’d be watching a 43 minute, decade old documentary about Karl Malone when I woke up this morning, yet here I am. Isn’t the internet great?

the documentary:

Never stop swinging those elbows Karl. You sir are an American Treasure.

via Huffington Post

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