Disclaimer: There’s been some rumblings that I haven’t been posting enough on here. Well let me tell you something, I recently got a job to pay the bills, gambling debts, whatever. I’ll be trying to post as much as I can when I’m not slaving away at my new job. Yes we lost a blogger, we will overcome, any applications hit me on twitter: @pwagon60
A certain blogger on the site that this wonderful blog stemmed from did a prop bet blog today. With all respects to him, he’s wrong. I’m the king of prop bets. Take these suggestions to the bank and thank me later.
How long will it take Idina Menzel to sing the national anthem.
Over/Under 121 Seconds
First, I didn’t know that Idina was white. Totally blew my mind when I found that out today. Yes I may have been living under a rock but shes a smoke and a half.
Helloooooooo nurse! Personally I think that she’ll go way over 121 seconds (or 2 minutes and 1 second if you didn’t pass 3rd grade math). She’s known for Frozen and will 100% showboat this performance.
PWAGON PICK: Over 121 seconds
What color hoodie will Bill Belichick wear for Super Bowl XLIX
grey, blue, neither
I hate his shtick, sweatshirts everywhere! Cut sleeves, sleeved, fucking crop tops. I don’t know the reasoning behind why he decides to look like a gym rat every time he’s on the sideline and frankly I don’t care. Coaches should be required to look somewhat professional when their coaching the biggest sporting event on the planet. He looks like a schmuck and I could care less what color he’s going to wear. Plus the games in fucking Arizona. Last I checked Arizona isn’t in the Northeast, motherfucker is going to be sweating through that sweatshirt like nobodies business.
PWAGON PICK: BLUE. SLEEVES CUT. (2 for 1 there, your welcome)
Opening coin toss
This one is the only 50/50 toss up there is. The old adage is that “Tails never fails” because some fifth grader made up the rhyme and stuck with it. I’m not buying it. Heads all the way.
PWAGON PICK: HEADS
Will either team score in the first 6.5 minutes of the game?
I fucking hope so dude.
PWAGON PICK: YES
First score of the game?
Now the Seahawks aren’t facing Mr. Life Alert himself in Peyton Manning, they’re facing arguably the worst human being on the planet and I refuse to use his name in any post leading up to the Super Bowl. They won’t get a safety, but the Seahawks defense is stout and so are the Pats. So I’m riding that the first score of the game will be a Field Goal and parlaying it with Steven “Burning down the” Hauschka will kick said FG.
PWAGON PICK: FG
PARLAY: Steven Hauschka FG
Will Marshawn Lynch grab his crotch after scoring a TD in the game?
Marshawn Lynch’s Hold Ma Dick celebration is arguably one of my favorite celebrations/reaction gifs in sports. It’s an absolute fuck you move to the No Fun League. And to do that against the Patriots would make this already wonderful event even more wonderful.
PWAGON PICK: Yes
Will Bill Belichick smile on camera during the game
Oh look at me, I’m Mr. Too Tough to Smile during the game. I’m so involved in the offensive game plan that I can’t even crack a smile after a touchdown or a particularly wonderful play. Drop the hardo act and crack a smile for me one time Bill.
PWAGON PICK: Yes
How many times will deflated balls be mentioned in game?
Everyone and their mother at this point has an opinion on Deflategate. It’s a topic where barometric pressure gets involved and I failed science in high school. Deflategate will be mentioned enough in the first quarter to get it out of the way and out of National mindset.
PWAGON PICK: Over 3 times
Will Al Michaels refer to the point spread, total, odds on who wins game or any prop bet during the game
Will Al Michaels read this blog before the game? I hope so. I’ve always said that sport broadcasting needs more degenerate gamblers broadcasting the game to appeal to the common man. Al Michaels could be that man. He is our dark knight. Gamblers around the country need you Al.
PWAGON PICK: Yes
What song will Katy Perry perform first at Halftime
There’s a whole bunch of songs that have odds for this. Eliminating the obvious in Waking up in Vegas, Wide Awake, and Last Friday Night (even though it’s a fireflames jam), you have to look at Dark Horse, Firework or Roar. Firework will probably be last for the pyrotechnics and Roar is the obvious choice to be first but I’m going against the grain and going with Dark Horse to be the first song. I’m most worried about this prop.
PWAGON PICK: Dark Horse
What color will Katy Perry’s hair be when she begins the halftime show
Don’t care. Here are some pictures of Katy
PWAGON PICK: Blue/Green. Go Seahawks.
What color Gatorade will be dumped on the winning coach?
The odds on these colors are PREPOSTEROUS. From Bovada
Orange is by far the worst Gatorade flavor of the bunch. Blue is the consummate favorite and the exclusion of purple is egregious. Clear at 3/1 is pretty good money as it could be either Water or their new Cherry Frost flavor. Personally I don’t like to drink anything that looks like what Frosty the Snowman would excrete when with Mrs. Frosty. I’m riding my allegiance to the death and going with Blue.
PWAGON PICK: Blue. Go Seahawks.
There you have it. 13 props. Now lets all forget about Deflategate and argue about how dumb I am. (Looking at you Thread.) If any of the bloggers want in on this, I’m up for a gentlemanly bet.
#THREADLIFE #GOHAWKS #12s